Are We All Perfect Parents?

I recently read a great article on the parenting website Parentdish.co.uk. I thoroughly enjoyed reading about various things parents feel guilty about and took comfort in many of the "not guilty" verdicts determined by the author Georgia James. The article, titled "Drop the Parental guilt (you're doing a brilliant job)", got me thinking about whether we are all "doing a brilliant job" as parents. As pleased as I was to be relieved of some parental guilt, I grew afraid that we can't all be "doing a brilliant job". 

            Source:Parentdish.co.uk

With stories in the news about British children having milk teeth extracted due to irreversible damage and rot, and others starting school in nappies or barely able to recognise numbers or letters, we can't all be "doing a brilliant job", can we?,

              Source: bbc.co.uk

Most parents try their utmost to provide the very best for their offspring, whilst dealing with the constraits of time, money and resources. But there are those few in our society who for a variety of reasons, just aren't trying. The parents who don't know any better or those who do know but can't be bothered. 

The fact is parenting is a tough gig, which is rarely without guilt. Those who are trying are rightly aspiring to be better parents and raise well adjusted children who we steer towards independence, happiness and the right attitude. We arm them with the advantages of education, culture, social skills and seek to refine their skills and talents.

Conversely there are parents, living in a "first world" country who simply aren't aspiring, trying or even taking advantage of so many tools and resources at their disposal. I have met parents who have never been to a (free) antenatal class because they don't see the point in having a medical professional tell them they'll have a baby in a few months. I also know of those whose children are consistently bribed or rewarded with sweet treats despite the parents knowledge that sweets are bad for teeth and general health. I know too of those who allow their children everything they ask for (because it's easier) yet can never satisfy them.

           Source:www.slate.com

I do spare a thought for those who simply don't know that feeding their child ready meals on a regular basis is not good for their health; those who don't have time to read to their child every night; and those living on a budget so tight that any suggestion that they save some money for some cultural experience next summer would be met with laughter. Not because they don't value a cultural experience for their family, but because it's simply unrealistic for them to set aside money for future use when there are so many demands on their money right now.

Ofcourse the majority of parents are "doing a brilliant job". That's why Britain  continues to produce world class scientists, artists and sportsmen and women. But, sadly not all parents are striving for the very best they could provide. And that parenting style, which we lable "bad parenting" or "poor parenting" can only lead to one conclusion: no, we are not all "doing a brilliant job", but so many of us are trying, sacrificing, sweating and stressing for one of the most worthy of causes - our children.

Here Comes Half Term - 5 things to do

So we are nearly at the finish line of the first half of term one. I'm not quite sure why it feels like the time has passed so quickly given that this first half term has been life changing. In these last few weeks we've discovered jolly phonics and numicons, we've realised just how busy the roads are at 8.30am and 3pm, and have been surprised to learn that most 4 and 5 year olds are gifted with more dexterity and self control than we previously gave credit for or dared to discover for ourselves.

            Crossing the finish line 

I've been fortunate to have hit the "I don't want to go to school" wall only once so far. However I am no stranger to the after school challenge where by mummy gets  everything so wrong. Things like forgetting the Thomas the Tank engine umbrella ( it wasn't even raining); forgetting the helmet ( ok fair enough, I left in a hurry); talking to the other mums for too long, thereby wasting precious walking home time; and after a long day at school, serving up the wrong food.

So with half term upon us there's a part of me that just wants to relax and not rush around for anything. But there's also a part of me that is addicted to routine and therefore I need to have some kind of schedule in place. (Besides two young children will never permit an entire week of relaxation). So inspired by a half term planner I saw on netmums.com, I thought I'd loosely plan some half term activities.

 

1. A trip to London to fulfil that London bus fascination - probably to the natural history museum - hello dinosaurs

                 A London bus

2. Visit the local museum - 20 mins drive for a free day out with arts and crafts and musical instruments. This should please both children and the purse.

3. Crèche - mummy still needs gym time even at half term. A gym session will re-energise me for mum duty. Besides both children seem to enjoy the fact that this is something they can do together, parent free.

4. A day of boredom at home because boredom breeds innovation and creativity. I'm hopeful but can't deny a little nervousness.

5. A play date - a long awaited catch up with friends from nursery. I wonder if previous best friends can still hold this title after being apart for weeks.

Making this list only serves up a realisation that we will probably have another busy week. These 5 items don't even include the School Halloween disco, the party on Saturday followed by another party on Sunday. 

The business of parenting is relentless work!

What have you got planned for planned half term?

8 Things No one Told Us About Starting School

As a first timer with the business of the school run, there are a few things I have come to realise I just wasn't prepared for. Despite my dry runs, timing the walk from door to door (I even considered investing in a pedometer to get scientific verification of which of 2 routes was more efficient), I am surprised to be surprised.  

1. At least twice a week, a scooter will collide with the back of your legs. The correct response by the way, is to genuinely accept the other parents profuse apologies because you will be seeing them again and there is a strong likelihood, your child will scoot into their legs before the weekend.

2. The PTA - to join or not to join?

The school PTA is a good gang to associate oneself with. Such was my strategy anyway until I was scared off when the role of Treasurer was announced as vacant and urgently requiring a volunteer. I don't want to be the treasurer! That means being responsible for the school's money. Anyway I suspect you have to be atleast a part qualified accountant to be an effective treasurer and actually enjoy it. I think I'll stick to making pretty things for the Christmas fair and helping the teachers with organising the class room and resources.

3. The head teacher makes me want to behave. I like the fact that the head teacher is a strong no nonsense type, but even I feel I have to sit up straight and tuck my shirt in in her presence. She just commands authority.

4. Road safety ground rules.

Road safety has taken centre stage in our family since the start of school. Despite my confidence that my child understands the rules, I have to remember children get carried away and they will influence and be influence by others resulting in scooter races at rush hour. Confiscation of the scooter is not out of the question.

5. The Ice cream van. 

I find the presence of the sugar dispenser, I mean, Ice cream van right outside the school premises irritating to say the least. I wonder when it will be replaced by a fruit and veg van.

6. A 4/5 year old is actually capable of carrying their own tray of food from counter to table - AMAZING! We are only a few weeks into the first term of school and not once has the loss of lunch through clumsiness been reported. I'm too nervous to try this out at home.

7. Your child will make friends beyond the control zone. There will be new friends whose presence in your child's life you did not orchestrate. Don't we all get used to arranging play dates with parents we like? Those who we consider like minded? Well, it's all about to end because children will make their own friends at school and inevitably, you'll be asked to arrange a play date with a child you know nothing about. This could be awkward!

8. The comradery - meeting other mums and families who are actually, genuinely like minded people. The parenting tips, the recipe sharing, the decorating steals and uniform swaps ... I could go on but I'll stop now before I start declaring undying love and detailing weird codependency habits.

Is this how it should be or am I still high on new starter enthusiasm?

How have you found starting school?